Sometimes when I see so many people around yet feel lonely, I think about you. Your voice, your words, I can still hear them clearly, the song you used to sing, the melody in your trembling voice is still as fresh as if you are here with me right now. The other moment I realize it’s all in my mind and I am back into real world with many people around me totally engrossed into their playful cheerful activities, way far away from the world where I live in, the one which exists in my mind. The irony of the situation is they feel I am equally a part of their activities while I am just somewhere else, like in some parallel world.
I sometimes laugh with them but from within I am in a blank, neutral state like in a trance. A void like a black hole exists in which everything just drains. An infinitesimal sink, like a huge ocean, and all the feelings which come flowing like massive rivers find a home, which contains them fully, yet have enough room for more and makes them just as still as itself.
Within this infinite ocean lies your memories all good and bad like a drowned wrecked ship possessing all kinds of ornaments, the rare solitaires of all kinds which the world crave for. Yet the irony is it’s all hidden, forbidden from use. Although it exists yet can’t be realized like all my dreams which I have weaved over the time and which drowned into this immense ocean before it could be realized. These precious jewels exist deep within unacknowledged, unknown, non-existential to this world which lies above unaware.
The words which I have said uncountable times in my mind still remain unsaid, the memories, the moments I lived uncountable times are yet to happen, the sunlight I felt uncountable times on the surface is yet to reach the sea bed of my heart’s ocean. The dark ocean of my heart is yet to be lit by the sun’s light which glows the whole world. May be, when the sunrays will reach the sea bed, then all the hidden jewels will be discovered by their light, then they will glow their glory, with all their might. But then that is all what goes in mind, and never happens.
Sun no matter how mighty it be, ocean no matter how close it might seem to sun at horizon, but the two will always remain aloof to each other, like the two infinites which co-exist but never meet. That is what they are meant to be, that is what they have in their fate even after all their might, which is what is destined to happen each day for centuries until the world comes to an end. And the deeps of ocean will always remain dark being house to all the precious jewels of life, to all the rivers of emotions, despite of glowing at the surface forever.
And then all of a sudden, I feel a tap on my shoulder and everyone around laughing on a petty joke as usual, engrossed in their ever-ending joyous activities as I join them totally unaware of the reason behind this burst of laughter.